The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and Home Page that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

click Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) web link with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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