The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

However when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay guys wish to discover from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given official source that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" his response chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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