The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, nearness, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, additional reading however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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